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Some funny jokes Raecear posted on the
forums...
So a halfling walks past the entrance to the thieves guild.. and
doesn't join! Haha, yeah right, like that's gonna happen.
So a gnome walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what he'd like
to drink. The gnome replies, "meesa talka reealll smart likea jar
jar, cuz meesa da smartestest race inda game!" Heh, ok, low blow..
I'm sure there are some gnomes who don't consider common their
fourth language. Yes, I realize gnome is not a guild...
So a s'kra mur walks into a bar, and orders a drink. The bar tender
slides it over, and the s'kra says, "Stupid smoothskin," before
getting a bunch of his friends to come harass the bartender.
So a moon mage walks into the bar, sits down, and orders three shots
of apple brandy. Baerholdt pours them out and inquires playfully if
the mage plans to drink them all himself. "No, they're for me and my
two .. friends." Then the mage drinks down all three shots.
So a ranger walks into a bar. A ranger paces back and forth like a
caged animal. Grumbling, the ranger goes and makes 300 plat
arranging leucro hides, buys their own property in the wilderness
and gets a few kegs of their own.
So a cleric walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to
drink, to which the cleric responds, "Want to listen to a teaching
class?"
So a trader walks by a bar. So a trader walks by a bar going the
other direction. <time passes> So a trader walks by a bar. So a
trader walks by a bar going the other direction. <time passes> So a
trader walks by a bar....
So a warmage goes into a bar and starts drinking pretty heavily, and
finally strikes up a conversation with the bartender. After the
usual complaints about the job, and the wife, finally the bartender
asks, "So what's really bothering you, my friend?" The warmage
pauses for a minute, before replying, "EVASION SHOULD BE SECONDARY
FOR WAR MAGES BECAUSE WE'RE A COMBAT GUILD TOO."
Heh, and on a similar note -
So a barbarian walks into the bar and orders a heavy load of drinks.
After guzzling for awhile, he notices a fine weapon on the wall
behind the bartender and comments on its craftsmanship. The
bartender nods with pride, and mentions his barbarian friend made it
for him, but that he'd like to try his hand at smithing when forging
2.0 comes out. The barbarian, outraged at this affront, leaps over
the counter and chokes the bartender to death.
So a paladin walks into the bar and sits down, immediately ordering
two pitchers of guiness. The bartender gives him a look and said "I
didn't realize your type drank so much.." There's a long pause, as
the paladin looks up darkly over his glass, staring at the bartender
silently, before uttering, "I'm a dark paladin. That makes me much
cooler than a normal paladin."
So an empath walks into a bar. An empath appears to be concentrating
intently. You notice an empath slip into hiding. You notice an
empath appraising her gem pouch from hiding. An empath comes out of
hiding. An empath leaves the bar.
So a GM walks into a bar. He orders some drinks, finishes them
pretty quickly, and then just sits there for like 4 hours. Finally
the bartender comes over and demands, "You're taking up seat space!
When are you gonna order another drink or get out of here?" The GM
replies, "..soon.."
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How many s'kra mur does it take to change a light bulb?
- One, by himself, and you smoothskins better not interfere.
- alternative answer: One. We are ru'at. You will be assimilated.
How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?
- One. He just holds the bulb, and the world revolves around him.
How many gor'togs does it take to change a light bulb?
- One, and one dwarf to make sure he has his toofthbrush.
How many gnomes does it take to change a light bulb?
- Six.
How many war mages does it take to change a light bulb?
- Three. One to change the light bulb. One to accidentally destroy
it with CL, and a third to drag their corpses, and change the
lightbulb again.
- alternatively: Two. One to change the bulb, one to post about how
changing light bulbs proves WMs should learn evasion secondary.
How many thieves does it take to change a light bulb?
- Two. One to remove the light bulb, and a second to hand it off to,
who bins it.
How many Paladins does it take to change a light bulb?
- One, using the "protect light bulb" verb.
How many moon mages does it take to change a light bulb?
- One. One to change the light bulb, and four to attempt to wrest
control of his personality during the experience.
- alternatively: One, even though he's 20 levels lower than the
light bulb, by using a Will vs. Will contest.
- and another: None. The moon mages predicted this bulb would need
changing, and replaced it yesterday.
How many barbs does it take to change a light bulb?
- Two. One to change the bulb, and one to brag about how much better
they could do it... in TF.
How many DR players does it take to change a light bulb?
- Three. One to change the bulb, and two others to complain to each
other about how much better the first person's guild is than theirs,
and post demanding nerfs on the boards.
How many GMs does it take to change a light bulb?
- Only one. It will happen some time between now and the heat death
of the universe.
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Brought to you from the very bored player of Raecear (Plat). |